We Never Did

Ichigo found himself at a roadside near a beach, overlooking the streaming sunset at the horizon, painting the heavens in a scarlet hue. It mirrored his companion’s vibrant auburn hair as it danced in the sea breeze as she raced towards the roadside’s railing, tugging him close by the hand as she marveled at the picturesque setting before her.

She pointed at the sun in the horizon when they reached the railing and she laughed with glee, drawing out a smile from his lips in return. The whole thing seemed too perfect, so surreal.

“Kurosaki-kun?” at this she directed her gaze at him.

“Yeah?” He looked back at her.

“Wouldn’t you want to stay like this forever?” She asked him with a bright smile lighting up her face.

He smiled at her genuinely as his hand reached up and stroked her soft, auburn tresses. He was about to give his reply when instead of hearing his voice a synthetic and resonant sound obscured his hearing. He looked at the sunset, the sea, at her, and she still has a smile on her face only now, there was a hint of sadness in her eyes.

The noise carried on incessantly and Ichigo felt her hands against his disappear and he glanced at it, as the whole scene faded to black.

Suddenly Ichigo threw his eyes wide open at the dark ceiling of his bedroom and the sound he kept hearing was from his phone. It was a dream. Mildly annoyed he sat up from bed swiftly but careful enough not to wake the already stirring figure beside him. He got out of the sheets and walked towards his bedside table and took his phone. Squinting at the bright glow of the screen against the darkness of the bedroom, He tried to read the name of the sorry person about to receive an earful for disturbing him at such an ungodly hour. As he read it, all his thoughts dissipated and annoyance was replaced with worry. He immediately hit the answer key and quietly strode out of the bedroom while sparing a glance at the now still figure on his bed.

“Inoue? Why’re you calling me so late?” He could hear a muffled sound and quiet sobs.

“Kurosaki-kun..” she sobbed almost with relief in her tone. “I-I’m sorry to disturb you this late. I was ju—“

“Why are you crying? Is everything okay?” He interrupted, feeling dumb for only throwing questions ever since he picked up the phone.

“I’m okay now Kurosaki-kun! In fact I felt totally fine when I heard your voice over the line!” She’s back to her usual self, bet he’s not ready to let her go just yet.

“Well that’s a relief. So why were you crying?” It was then he noticed that there’s a light downpour and it was the muffled sound he heard over the phone. With his wonted scowl back on his face, he stared at the veil of light shower through the living room window as he waited for her to answer.

“I…” He could hear her take a deep breath, “I had a nightmare about….. about you...”

Silence ensued for a few moments and the only audible sound was the steady rumble of the drizzle. He was merely mildly surprised at her revelation, but what bothered him was why she called him when it happened.

“It was nothing really! Kurosaki-kun!”

“Tell me.” He pressed on, neither demanding nor prying, but with a voice in genuine concern. ”I’m listening”.

After a few hesitations she finally told him.

“In my dream,” she started, “ I was walking down the road from my favorite Ice cream parlor, I believe, with Tatsuki-chan. And we were talking about something I can’t remember but I’m sure it was hilarious because we were both laughing so hard!...” she was talking slowly, trying to remember every instance as best she could and Ichigo could imagine her wild gestures as she narrated her dream, a small smile tugged at his lips as he reminisced the days when she would talk to him like this.

“…and then I saw you on the other side of the road and was about to call you when… a speeding car swerved to your direction! Everything was a big blur after that part of my dream then, then I just found myself by your side and you were bleeding so much and it was all over the place—the pavement, the car, the plants, my hands ! I-I was calling your name and for help because you were unconscious and, and—“

“Inoue it’s alright now, I understand” He consoled. “You were just scared.”

“Even so she still went on “..and then I woke up and realized it was a dream but, but I was frightened and I was sweating and I didn’t know what to do—“

“Inoue it’s alright..”

“You were all I could think of and…. I was so worried that something bad happened to you that…that I called you…” she fell silent for the second time.

‘I was so worried …about you’. The words repeated itself in his head until it hurt, leaving him broken and somewhat confused, unable to say anything for a moment. He realized this was why she broke down and called him right away. She wasn’t scared of the dream, she was scared for him. He terribly wanted to rush over to her place amidst the beating rain and give her a strong, comforting embrace, but he knew he couldn’t do something audacious at the moment, giving him a sinking feeling in his chest. The best he could do at this particular moment is to comfort her.

“It’s alright Inoue I’m… right here.” He fumbled for the right words in his brain. “You’re safe now, that nightmare won’t bother you anymore.” It was the best he could come up with and he meant every single word.

He was surprised to hear her laugh and he was relieved as a smile graced his features. He felt good hearing her laugh once again. It was so much better than how he dreamt of it, the hearty laughter that soothed his heart in the most wonderful ways. It was like it came from an angel’s lips.

“You never changed Kurosaki-kun.”

“Ah. So as you. You never changed.”

“Do you remember? You said the same thing back during our camping trip in high school!”

“I did?” He could hardly remember what happened back then, much less the camping trip itself.

“You’re terrible at remembering things! It was night then and Tatsuki-chan and the others made fun of you for saying those things!” she giggled despite herself.

He raked his head for that particular memory until it hit him: Inoue somehow got lost in the woods trying to find firewood with the others, and Ichigo was the first one to find her. Tatsuki, Keigo and Ishida then followed after him and they found him cradling her in his arms while he said those words. His eyebrows twitched at the annoying teases they threw at him that time.

‘You’re safe now, Inoue I’m right here. I won’t leave your side.’

It confounded him that he could still remember saying them even though it happened a long time ago. It stirred a feeling of nostalgia within him, thinking back at how things gradually unfold between them.

“Ah. I think I remember it now. You got lost in the woods and you were crying when I found you.”

“I wasn’t crying! Well, those were tears of joy… I was just really happy to find you!”

“Really? Wasn’t it the other way around?”

And their playful conversation over the phone continued for minutes, their topics jumping to funny moments with friends and even their favorite TV show as they shared a few laughs with each other, mindless of the drumming rain, wrapped in their own world of hushed voices and shared memories.

“…and the contractor said, ‘these are not for sale’!” she giggled then went on, “It was so funny that I dreamt of you in his place!” and she laughed again.

He chuckled softly at her joke, his mind drifting to memories way back when conversations like these didn’t only happen in the middle of the night. He was so lost in her laughter that he spoke without himself noticing,

“It’s funny how you’re talking to me tonight like we used to.”

And then she stopped mid-laugh, and he wondered what caused her abrupt silence.

“What’s wrong? Did I say something stupid?”

“Ne, Kurosaki-kun,” she started, not answering his question. “Do you… dream about me too?”

He was stunned. He didn’t expect her to ask such a question but deep down he was hoping for their conversation to veer in this direction.

“I’m not making sense, am—“

“Yes.” He cut in.

“Eh?”

“I dreamt of you too, almost… every night.” He breathed out, the overwhelming pain of longing getting the better of him.

“I couldn’t stop dreaming about you too… You were always in my dreams. Even nightmares..” she laughed softly, trying to ease the atmosphere.

Ichigo hesitated for a moment but couldn’t find a better time to ask the question which bothered him for quite a while now.

“Does he… know that you’re talking to me? Will it start a fight?” He couldn’t stop sounding so tensed.

At this she immediately answered as if snapped from her reverie “No, no! He doesn’t know anything! And I don’t think he would pick a fight with you Kurosaki-kun.” At this she sighed.

“I see.” He wasn’t entirely relieved but he relaxed his tensed muscles.

“What about you? Does she know that we’re… talking to each other, like this?” She sounded calm but Ichigo sensed that it was laced with a hint of sadness.

“No. I don’t think she has any clue.”

The sinking feeling found its way back into his chest, and he could feel the hanging air grow thick around him, stealing his breath away. Finally she broke through the dead space surrounding them.

“I’m sorry to drag you into this mess Kurosaki-kun..” This time sadness and regret betrayed her voice.

“What? What are you talking about?” His voice was incredulous and he was furious at her apologizing again. “You’re not the one at fault here Inoue”. He couldn’t hold back his temper.

“But I was the one who disturbed you in the middle of the night!”

“It’s not like you’re the only one who ever called. I’ve called you too several times.”

“But I—“

“Inoue just stop blaming yourself for once! That’s not the problem!” He barely contained his voice from rising and his head whirled to look at the bedroom, spying for any movement that would suggest his partner had awakened. Discovering otherwise, He tried to calm himself, sort out his thoughts.

“Kurosaki-kun…?” She worried.

“I’m sorry I yelled at you Inoue.,” he recovered. “I was just tryi—“

“Don’t worry about it Kurosaki-kun.” This time it was her turn to cut him off. “I understand and, I know it’s unfair to you, but I guess… we still feel the same way.”

It didn’t take a whole second for him to grasp what she meant. His frown deepened as he closed his eyes, muttering his next words.

“You’re right. I guess… we never really moved on.”

“…we never did.”

Once again he felt the terrible longing for her warmth, her sweet smile, the smooth strands of her hair beneath his hands—all of her, that it was so unbearable.

“I miss you Orihime.”

And he said it. Every part of his being was screaming for her name and he could barely resist it. He desperately wanted to convey those words to let her know how he felt towards her, and it lifted a heavy load off his chest.

After a silence that seemed to stretch forever she breathed out her reply.

“..I miss you too Ichigo. So much..” She sounded as if on the verge of tears.

Her reply and the sound of her voice saying his name sounded so sweet that it hurt at the same time. It made him vulnerable, breaking off the chain that held the already swelling emotions inside him.

“It’s really good to hear you say my name again.”

“It has been a while since you called me by name, too .”

“I wish we could go back to the way we were Orihime.”

“..you don’t know how much I want for us to.. Ichigo.” Her voice was quivering ever so slightly and he could tell that she was already crying.

They both want the same thing. They still feel so strongly for each other even after their parting 2 years ago. They were young and careless; they had to admit they weren’t able to fix everything between them before they decided to move on with other people. No matter what they do they could not leave each other and they knew it. But how could they patch things up between them if they couldn’t avoid hurting others along the way?

Outside the rain grumbled loudly against the shingles of the roof then there was a flash of lightning and a crackling thunder.

“…Ichigo?” Her voice sounded no less than a whisper.

“Orihime?”

“I…. I want nothing else.. but your happiness..”

His heart twisted at her words.

“Orihime I still want you—“

“Good night, Ichigo.”

“Orihime just let me fin—“

“Ichigo please.”

He still has so much to say to her but hearing her pleading, he pushed his thoughts deep down and complied to her.

“Good night. I –“ Ichigo swallowed the words he was about to say.

“Just, sweet dreams.” He finished.

And the line went completely dead.

He stared blankly at the phone in his hand until the glow died out thinking of the words he was supposed to say to her in the end.

‘Good night, I love you.’

It left a throbbing pain in his chest and he knew it wouldn’t be gone unless he decides to deal with the cause of it. If he said those words, would it have made a difference? The darkness around him never felt so disquieting and he felt cold, so he settled to go back to the bedroom with heavy thoughts.

Ichigo slowly closed the bedroom door then placed his phone in the bedside drawer before he climbed back on his side of the bed as quietly as he could. The girl beside him was still sound asleep, oblivious to the sound of the hammering deluge and to what had transpired between Ichigo and Orihime that rainy night.

He buried himself in the sheets as he closed his eyes and willed himself to sleep.