All's Well That Ends Well/Act 4

SCENE 1. Without the Florentine camp.
[Enter first Lord with five or six Soldiers in ambush.]

FIRST LORD.
 * He can come no other way but by this hedge-corner. When you sally
 * upon him, speak what terrible language you will; though you
 * understand it not yourselves, no matter; for we must not seem to
 * understand him, unless some one among us, whom we must produce
 * for an interpreter.

FIRST SOLDIER.
 * Good captain, let me be the interpreter.

FIRST LORD.
 * Art not acquainted with him? knows he not thy voice?

FIRST SOLDIER.
 * No, sir, I warrant you.

FIRST LORD.
 * But what linsey-woolsey has thou to speak to us again?

FIRST SOLDIER.
 * E'en such as you speak to me.

FIRST LORD.
 * He must think us some band of strangers i' the adversary's
 * entertainment. Now he hath a smack of all neighbouring languages,
 * therefore we must every one be a man of his own fancy; not to
 * know what we speak one to another, so we seem to know, is to know
 * straight our purpose: choughs' language, gabble enough, and good
 * enough. As for you, interpreter, you must seem very politic. But
 * couch, ho! here he comes; to beguile two hours in a sleep, and
 * then to return and swear the lies he forges.

[Enter PAROLLES.]

PAROLLES.
 * Ten o'clock. Within these three hours 'twill be time enough to go
 * home. What shall I say I have done? It must be a very plausive
 * invention that carries it ;they begin to smoke me: and disgraces
 * have of late knocked too often at my door. I find my tongue is
 * too foolhardy; but my heart hath the fear of Mars before it, and
 * of his creatures, not daring the reports of my tongue.

FIRST LORD. {Aside.]
 * This is the first truth that e'er thine own tongue was guilty of.

PAROLLES.
 * What the devil should move me to undertake the recovery of this
 * drum: being not ignorant of the impossibility, and knowing I had
 * no such purpose? I must give myself some hurts, and say I got
 * them in exploit: yet slight ones will not carry it: they will say
 * Came you off with so little? and great ones I dare not give.
 * Wherefore, what's the instance? Tongue, I must put you into a
 * butter-woman's mouth, and buy myself another of Bajazet's mule,
 * if you prattle me into these perils.

FIRST LORD. {Aside.]
 * Is it possible he should know what he is, and be that he is?

PAROLLES.
 * I would the cutting of my garments would serve the turn, or the
 * breaking of my Spanish sword.

FIRST LORD. {Aside.]
 * We cannot afford you so.

PAROLLES.
 * Or the baring of my beard; and to say it was in stratagem.

FIRST LORD. {Aside.]
 * 'Twould not do.

PAROLLES.
 * Or to drown my clothes, and say I was stripped.

FIRST LORD. {Aside.]
 * Hardly serve.

PAROLLES.
 * Though I swore I leap'd from the window of the citadel,—

FIRST LORD. {Aside.]
 * How deep?

PAROLLES.
 * Thirty fathom.

FIRST LORD. {Aside.]
 * Three great oaths would scarce make that be believed.

PAROLLES.
 * I would I had any drum of the enemy's; I would swear I recovered
 * it.

FIRST LORD. {Aside.]
 * You shall hear one anon.

PAROLLES.
 * A drum now of the enemy's!

[Alarum within.]

FIRST LORD.
 * Throca movousus, cargo, cargo, cargo.

ALL.
 * Cargo, cargo, cargo, villianda par corbo, cargo.

PAROLLES.
 * O, ransom, ransom! Do not hide mine eyes.

[They seize and blindfold him.]

FIRST SOLDIER.
 * Boskos thromuldo boskos.

PAROLLES.
 * I know you are the Muskos' regiment,
 * And I shall lose my life for want of language:
 * If there be here German, or Dane, low Dutch,
 * Italian, or French, let him speak to me;
 * I'll discover that which shall undo the Florentine.

SECOND SOLDIER.
 * Boskos vauvado:—I understand thee, and can speak thy tongue.
 * Kerelybonto:—Sir,
 * Betake thee to thy faith, for seventeen poniards
 * Are at thy bosom.

PAROLLES.
 * O!

FIRST SOLDIER.
 * O, pray, pray, pray!—
 * Manka revania dulche.

FIRST LORD.
 * Oscorbi dulchos volivorco.

FIRST SOLDIER.
 * The General is content to spare thee yet;
 * And, hoodwink'd as thou art, will lead thee on
 * To gather from thee: haply thou mayst inform
 * Something to save thy life.

PAROLLES.
 * O, let me live,
 * And all the secrets of our camp I'll show,
 * Their force, their purposes: nay, I'll speak that
 * Which you will wonder at.

FIRST SOLDIER.
 * But wilt thou faithfully?

PAROLLES.
 * If I do not, damn me.

FIRST SOLDIER.
 * Acordo linta.—
 * Come on; thou art granted space.

[Exit, with PAROLLES guarded.]

FIRST LORD.
 * Go, tell the Count Rousillon and my brother
 * We have caught the woodcock, and will keep him muffled
 * Till we do hear from them.

SECOND SOLDIER.
 * Captain, I will.

FIRST LORD.
 * 'A will betray us all unto ourselves;—
 * Inform 'em that.

SECOND SOLDIER.
 * So I will, sir.

FIRST LORD.
 * Till then I'll keep him dark, and safely lock'd.

[Exeunt.]

SCENE 2. Florence. A room in the WIDOW'S house.
[Enter BERTRAM and DIANA.]

BERTRAM.
 * They told me that your name was Fontibell.

DIANA.
 * No, my good lord, Diana.

BERTRAM.
 * Titled goddess;
 * And worth it, with addition! But, fair soul,
 * In your fine frame hath love no quality?
 * If the quick fire of youth light not your mind,
 * You are no maiden, but a monument;
 * When you are dead, you should be such a one
 * As you are now, for you are cold and stern;
 * And now you should be as your mother was
 * When your sweet self was got.

DIANA.
 * She then was honest.

BERTRAM.
 * So should you be.

DIANA.
 * No:
 * My mother did but duty; such, my lord,
 * As you owe to your wife.

BERTRAM.
 * No more of that!
 * I pr'ythee, do not strive against my vows:
 * I was compell'd to her; but I love thee
 * By love's own sweet constraint, and will for ever
 * Do thee all rights of service.

DIANA.
 * Ay, so you serve us
 * Till we serve you; but when you have our roses
 * You barely leave our thorns to prick ourselves,
 * And mock us with our bareness.

BERTRAM.
 * How have I sworn?

DIANA.
 * 'Tis not the many oaths that makes the truth,
 * But the plain single vow that is vow'd true.
 * What is not holy, that we swear not by,
 * But take the Highest to witness: then, pray you, tell me,
 * If I should swear by Jove's great attributes
 * I lov'd you dearly, would you believe my oaths
 * When I did love you ill? This has no holding,
 * To swear by him whom I protest to love
 * That I will work against him: therefore your oaths
 * Are words and poor conditions; but unseal'd,—
 * At least in my opinion.

BERTRAM.
 * Change it, change it;
 * Be not so holy-cruel. Love is holy;
 * And my integrity ne'er knew the crafts
 * That you do charge men with. Stand no more off,
 * But give thyself unto my sick desires,
 * Who then recover: say thou art mine, and ever
 * My love as it begins shall so persever.

DIANA.
 * I see that men make hopes in such a case,
 * That we'll forsake ourselves. Give me that ring.

BERTRAM.
 * I'll lend it thee, my dear, but have no power
 * To give it from me.

DIANA.
 * Will you not, my lord?

BERTRAM.
 * It is an honour 'longing to our house,
 * Bequeathed down from many ancestors;
 * Which were the greatest obloquy i' the world
 * In me to lose.

DIANA.
 * Mine honour's such a ring:
 * My chastity's the jewel of our house,
 * Bequeathed down from many ancestors;
 * Which were the greatest obloquy i' the world
 * In me to lose. Thus your own proper wisdom
 * Brings in the champion honour on my part
 * Against your vain assault.

BERTRAM.
 * Here, take my ring:
 * My house, mine honour, yea, my life, be thine,
 * And I'll be bid by thee.

DIANA.
 * When midnight comes, knock at my chamber-window;
 * I'll order take my mother shall not hear.
 * Now will I charge you in the band of truth,
 * When you have conquer'd my yet maiden-bed,
 * Remain there but an hour, nor speak to me:
 * My reasons are most strong; and you shall know them
 * When back again this ring shall be deliver'd;
 * And on your finger in the night, I'll put
 * Another ring; that what in time proceeds
 * May token to the future our past deeds.
 * Adieu till then; then fail not. You have won
 * A wife of me, though there my hope be done.

BERTRAM.
 * A heaven on earth I have won by wooing thee.

[Exit.]

DIANA.
 * For which live long to thank both heaven and me!
 * You may so in the end.—
 * My mother told me just how he would woo,
 * As if she sat in's heart; she says all men
 * Have the like oaths: he had sworn to marry me
 * When his wife's dead; therefore I'll lie with him
 * When I am buried. Since Frenchmen are so braid,
 * Marry that will, I live and die a maid:
 * Only, in this disguise, I think't no sin
 * To cozen him that would unjustly win.

[Exit.]

SCENE 3. The Florentine camp.
[Enter the two French Lords, and two or three Soldiers.]

FIRST LORD.
 * You have not given him his mother's letter?

SECOND LORD.
 * I have deliv'red it an hour since: there is something in't that
 * stings his nature; for on the reading, it he changed almost into
 * another man.

FIRST LORD.
 * He has much worthy blame laid upon him for shaking off so good a
 * wife and so sweet a lady.

SECOND LORD.
 * Especially he hath incurred the everlasting displeasure of the
 * king, who had even tuned his bounty to sing happiness to him. I
 * will tell you a thing, but you shall let it dwell darkly with
 * you.

FIRST LORD.
 * When you have spoken it, 'tis dead, and I am the grave of it.

SECOND LORD.
 * He hath perverted a young gentlewoman here in Florence, of a most
 * chaste renown; and this night he fleshes his will in the spoil of
 * her honour: he hath given her his monumental ring, and thinks
 * himself made in the unchaste composition.

FIRST LORD.
 * Now, God delay our rebellion: as we are ourselves, what things
 * are we!

SECOND LORD.
 * Merely our own traitors. And as in the common course of all
 * treasons, we still see them reveal themselves till they attain
 * to their abhorred ends; so he that in this action contrives
 * against his own nobility, in his proper stream, o'erflows
 * himself.

FIRST LORD.
 * Is it not meant damnable in us to be trumpeters of our unlawful
 * intents? We shall not then have his company to-night?

SECOND LORD.
 * Not till after midnight; for he is dieted to his hour.

FIRST LORD.
 * That approaches apace: I would gladly have him see his
 * company anatomized, that he might take a measure of his own
 * judgments, wherein so curiously he had set this counterfeit.

SECOND LORD.
 * We will not meddle with him till he come; for his presence must
 * be the whip of the other.

FIRST LORD.
 * In the meantime, what hear you of these wars?

SECOND LORD.
 * I hear there is an overture of peace.

FIRST LORD.
 * Nay, I assure you, a peace concluded.

SECOND LORD.
 * What will Count Rousillon do then? will he travel higher, or
 * return again into France?

FIRST LORD.
 * I perceive, by this demand, you are not altogether of his
 * counsel.

SECOND LORD.
 * Let it be forbid, sir: so should I be a great deal of his act.

FIRST LORD.
 * Sir, his wife, some two months since, fled from his house: her
 * pretence is a pilgrimage to Saint Jaques-le-Grand: which holy
 * undertaking with most austere sanctimony she accomplished; and,
 * there residing, the tenderness of her nature became as a prey to
 * her grief; in fine, made a groan of her last breath; and now she
 * sings in heaven.

SECOND LORD.
 * How is this justified?

FIRST LORD.
 * The stronger part of it by her own letters, which makes her story
 * true, even to the point of her death: her death itself which
 * could not be her office to say is come, was faithfully confirmed
 * by the rector of the place.

SECOND LORD.
 * Hath the count all this intelligence?

FIRST LORD.
 * Ay, and the particular confirmations, point from point, to the
 * full arming of the verity.

SECOND LORD.
 * I am heartily sorry that he'll be glad of this.

FIRST LORD.
 * How mightily, sometimes, we make us comforts of our losses!

SECOND LORD.
 * And how mightily, some other times, we drown our gain in tears!
 * The great dignity that his valour hath here acquired for him
 * shall at home be encountered with a shame as ample.

FIRST LORD.
 * The web of our life is of a mingled yarn, good and ill together:
 * our virtues would be proud if our faults whipped them not; and
 * our crimes would despair if they were not cherished by our
 * virtues.—

[Enter a Servant.]


 * How now? where's your master?

SERVANT.
 * He met the duke in the street, sir; of whom he hath taken
 * a solemn leave: his lordship will next morning for France. The
 * duke hath offered him letters of commendations to the king.

SECOND LORD.
 * They shall be no more than needful there, if they were more than
 * they can commend.

FIRST LORD.
 * They cannot be too sweet for the king's tartness. Here's his
 * lordship now.

[Enter BERTRAM.]


 * How now, my lord, is't not after midnight?

BERTRAM.
 * I have to-night despatch'd sixteen businesses, a month's length
 * apiece; by an abstract of success: I have conge'd with the duke,
 * done my adieu with his nearest; buried a wife, mourned for her;
 * writ to my lady mother I am returning; entertained my convoy; and
 * between these main parcels of despatch effected many nicer needs:
 * the last was the greatest, but that I have not ended yet.

SECOND LORD.
 * If the business be of any difficulty and this morning your
 * departure hence, it requires haste of your lordship.

BERTRAM.
 * I mean the business is not ended, as fearing to hear of it
 * hereafter. But shall we have this dialogue between the fool and
 * the soldier?—Come, bring forth this counterfeit module has
 * deceived me like a double-meaning prophesier.

SECOND LORD.
 * Bring him forth.

[Exeunt Soldiers.]


 * Has sat i' the stocks all night, poor gallant knave.

BERTRAM.
 * No matter; his heels have deserved it, in usurping his
 * spurs so long. How does he carry himself?

FIRST LORD.
 * I have told your lordship already; the stocks carry him. But to
 * answer you as you would be understood: he weeps like a wench that
 * had shed her milk; he hath confessed himself to Morgan, whom he
 * supposes to be a friar, from the time of his remembrance to this
 * very instant disaster of his setting i' the stocks: and what
 * think you he hath confessed?

BERTRAM.
 * Nothing of me, has he?

SECOND LORD.
 * His confession is taken, and it shall be read to his face; if
 * your lordship be in't, as I believe you are, you must have the
 * patience to hear it.

[Re-enter Soldiers, with PAROLLES.]

BERTRAM.
 * A plague upon him! muffled! he can say nothing of me; hush, hush!


 * FIRST LORD.
 * Hoodman comes! Porto tartarossa.

FIRST SOLDIER.
 * He calls for the tortures: what will you say without 'em?

PAROLLES.
 * I will confess what I know without constraint; if ye pinch me
 * like a pasty I can say no more.

FIRST SOLDIER.
 * Bosko chimurcho.

FIRST LORD.
 * Boblibindo chicurmurco.

FIRST SOLDIER.
 * You are a merciful general:—Our general bids you answer to what
 * I shall ask you out of a note.

PAROLLES.
 * And truly, as I hope to live.

FIRST SOLDIER.
 * 'First demand of him how many horse the duke is strong.' What say
 * you to that?

PAROLLES.
 * Five or six thousand; but very weak and unserviceable: the troops
 * are all scattered, and the commanders very poor rogues, upon my
 * reputation and credit, and as I hope to live.

FIRST SOLDIER.
 * Shall I set down your answer so?

PAROLLES.
 * Do; I'll take the sacrament on 't, how and which way you will.

BERTRAM.
 * All's one to him. What a past-saving slave is this!

FIRST LORD.
 * You are deceived, my lord; this is Monsieur Parolles, the gallant
 * militarist (that was his own phrase),that had the whole theoric
 * of war in the knot of his scarf, and the practice in the chape of
 * his dagger.

SECOND LORD.
 * I will never trust a man again for keeping his sword clean; nor
 * believe he can have everything in him by wearing his apparel
 * neatly.

FIRST SOLDIER.
 * Well, that's set down.

PAROLLES.
 * 'Five or six thousand horse' I said—I will say true—or
 * thereabouts, set down,—for I'll speak truth.

FIRST LORD.
 * He's very near the truth in this.

BERTRAM.
 * But I con him no thanks for't in the nature he delivers it.

PAROLLES.
 * Poor rogues, I pray you say.

FIRST SOLDIER.
 * Well, that's set down.

PAROLLES.
 * I humbly thank you, sir: a truth's a truth, the rogues are
 * marvellous poor.

FIRST SOLDIER.
 * 'Demand of him of what strength they are a-foot.' What say you to
 * that?

PAROLLES.
 * By my troth, sir, if I were to live this present hour, I will
 * tell true. Let me see: Spurio, a hundred and fifty, Sebastian, so
 * many; Corambus, so many; Jaques, so many; Guiltian, Cosmo,
 * Lodowick, and Gratii, two hundred fifty each; mine own company,
 * Chitopher, Vaumond, Bentii, two hundred fifty each: so that the
 * muster-file, rotten and sound, upon my life, amounts not to
 * fifteen thousand poll; half of the which dare not shake the snow
 * from off their cassocks lest they shake themselves to pieces.

BERTRAM.
 * What shall be done to him?

FIRST LORD.
 * Nothing, but let him have thanks. Demand of him my condition, and
 * what credit I have with the duke.

FIRST SOLDIER.
 * Well, that's set down. 'You shall demand of him whether one
 * Captain Dumain be i' the camp, a Frenchman; what his reputation
 * is with the duke, what his valour, honesty, expertness in wars;
 * or whether he thinks it were not possible, with well-weighing
 * sums of gold, to corrupt him to a revolt.'
 * What say you to this? what do you know of it?

PAROLLES.
 * I beseech you, let me answer to the particular of the
 * inter'gatories: demand them singly.

FIRST SOLDIER.
 * Do you know this Captain Dumain?

PAROLLES.
 * I know him: he was a botcher's 'prentice in Paris, from whence he
 * was whipped for getting the shrieve's fool with child: a dumb
 * innocent that could not say him nay.

[FIRST LORD lifts up his hand in anger.]

BERTRAM.
 * Nay, by your leave, hold your hands; though I know his brains are
 * forfeit to the next tile that falls.

FIRST SOLDIER.
 * Well, is this captain in the Duke of Florence's camp?

PAROLLES.
 * Upon my knowledge, he is, and lousy.

FIRST LORD.
 * Nay, look not so upon me; we shall hear of your lordship anon.

FIRST SOLDIER.
 * What is his reputation with the duke?

PAROLLES.
 * The duke knows him for no other but a poor officer of mine; and
 * writ to me this other day to turn him out o' the band: I think I
 * have his letter in my pocket.

FIRST SOLDIER.
 * Marry, we'll search.

PAROLLES.
 * In good sadness, I do not know; either it is there or it is upon
 * a file, with the duke's other letters, in my tent.

FIRST SOLDIER.
 * Here 'tis; here's a paper. Shall I read it to you?

PAROLLES.
 * I do not know if it be it or no.

BERTRAM.
 * Our interpreter does it well.

FIRST LORD.
 * Excellently.

FIRST SOLDIER.
 * [Reads.] 'Dian, the Count's a fool, and full of gold,—'

PAROLLES.
 * That is not the duke's letter, sir; that is an advertisement to a
 * proper maid in Florence, one Diana, to take heed of the
 * allurement of one Count Rousillon, a foolish idle boy, but for
 * all that very ruttish: I pray you, sir, put it up again.

FIRST SOLDIER.
 * Nay, I'll read it first by your favour.

PAROLLES.
 * My meaning in't, I protest, was very honest in the behalf of the
 * maid; for I knew the young count to be a dangerous and lascivious
 * boy, who is a whale to virginity, and devours up all the fry it
 * finds.

BERTRAM.
 * Damnable! both sides rogue!

FIRST SOLDIER.
 * [Reads.]
 * 'When he swears oaths, bid him drop gold, and take it:
 * After he scores, he never pays the score;
 * Half won is match well made; match, and well make it;
 * He ne'er pays after-debts, take it before;
 * And say a soldier, 'Dian,' told thee this:
 * Men are to mell with, boys are not to kiss;
 * For count of this, the count's a fool, I know it,
 * Who pays before, but not when he does owe it.
 * Thine, as he vow'd to thee in thine ear,
 * PAROLLES.

BERTRAM.
 * He shall be whipped through the army with this rhyme in his
 * forehead.

SECOND LORD.
 * This is your devoted friend, sir, the manifold linguist, and the
 * armipotent soldier.

BERTRAM.
 * I could endure anything before but a cat, and now he's a cat to
 * me.

FIRST SOLDIER.
 * I perceive, sir, by our general's looks we shall be fain to hang
 * you.

PAROLLES.
 * My life, sir, in any case: not that I am afraid to die, but that,
 * my offences being many, I would repent out the remainder of
 * nature: let me live, sir, in a dungeon, i' the stocks, or
 * anywhere, so I may live.

FIRST SOLDIER.
 * We'll see what may be done, so you confess freely; therefore,
 * once more to this Captain Dumain: you have answered to his
 * reputation with the duke, and to his valour: what is his honesty?

PAROLLES.
 * He will steal, sir, an egg out of a cloister: for rapes and
 * ravishments he parallels Nessus. He professes not keeping of
 * oaths; in breaking them he is stronger than Hercules. He will
 * lie, sir, with such volubility that you would think truth were a
 * fool: drunkenness is his best virtue, for he will be swine-drunk;
 * and in his sleep he does little harm, save to his bedclothes
 * about him; but they know his conditions and lay him in straw. I
 * have but little more to say, sir, of his honesty; he has
 * everything that an honest man should not have; what an honest man
 * should have he has nothing.

FIRST LORD.
 * I begin to love him for this.

BERTRAM.
 * For this description of thine honesty? A pox upon him for me;
 * he's more and more a cat.

FIRST SOLDIER.
 * What say you to his expertness in war?

PAROLLES.
 * Faith, sir, has led the drum before the English tragedians,—to
 * belie him I will not,—and more of his soldiership I know not,
 * except in that country he had the honour to be the officer at a
 * place there called Mile-end to instruct for the doubling of
 * files: I would do the man what honour I can, but of this I am not
 * certain.

FIRST LORD.
 * He hath out-villanied villainy so far that the rarity redeems
 * him.

BERTRAM.
 * A pox on him! he's a cat still.

FIRST SOLDIER.
 * His qualities being at this poor price, I need not to ask you if
 * gold will corrupt him to revolt.

PAROLLES.
 * Sir, for a quart d'ecu he will sell the fee-simple of his
 * salvation, the inheritance of it; and cut the entail from all
 * remainders and a perpetual succession for it perpetually.

FIRST SOLDIER.
 * What's his brother, the other Captain Dumain?

SECOND LORD.
 * Why does he ask him of me?

FIRST SOLDIER.
 * What's he?

PAROLLES.
 * E'en a crow o' the same nest; not altogether so great as the
 * first in goodness, but greater a great deal in evil. He excels
 * his brother for a coward, yet his brother is reputed one of the
 * best that is; in a retreat he outruns any lackey: marry, in
 * coming on he has the cramp.

FIRST SOLDIER.
 * If your life be saved, will you undertake to betray the
 * Florentine?

PAROLLES.
 * Ay, and the captain of his horse, Count Rousillon.

FIRST SOLDIER.
 * I'll whisper with the general, and know his pleasure.

PAROLLES.
 * [Aside.] I'll no more drumming; a plague of all drums! Only to
 * seem to deserve well, and to beguile the supposition of that
 * lascivious young boy the count, have I run into this danger: yet
 * who would have suspected an ambush where I was taken?

FIRST SOLDIER.
 * There is no remedy, sir, but you must die: the general says you
 * that have so traitorously discovered the secrets of your army,
 * and made such pestiferous reports of men very nobly held, can
 * serve the world for no honest use; therefore you must die. Come,
 * headsman, off with his head.

PAROLLES.
 * O Lord! sir, let me live, or let me see my death.

FIRST SOLDIER.
 * That shall you, and take your leave of all your friends.

[Unmuffling him.]


 * So look about you; know you any here?

BERTRAM.
 * Good morrow, noble captain.

SECOND LORD.
 * God bless you, Captain Parolles.

FIRST LORD.
 * God save you, noble captain.

SECOND LORD.
 * Captain, what greeting will you to my Lord Lafeu? I am for
 * France.

FIRST LORD.
 * Good Captain, will you give me a copy of the sonnet you writ to
 * Diana in behalf of the Count Rousillon? an I were not a very
 * coward I'd compel it of you; but fare you well.

[Exeunt BERTRAM, Lords, &c.]

FIRST SOLDIER.
 * You are undone, captain: all but your scarf; that has a knot on't
 * yet.

PAROLLES.
 * Who cannot be crushed with a plot?

FIRST SOLDIER.
 * If you could find out a country where but women were that had
 * received so much shame, you might begin an impudent nation. Fare
 * ye well, sir; I am for France too: we shall speak of you there.

[Exit.]

PAROLLES.
 * Yet am I thankful: if my heart were great,
 * 'Twould burst at this. Captain I'll be no more;
 * But I will eat, and drink, and sleep as soft
 * As captain shall: simply the thing I am
 * Shall make me live. Who knows himself a braggart,
 * Let him fear this; for it will come to pass
 * That every braggart shall be found an ass.
 * Rust, sword! cool, blushes! and, Parolles, live
 * Safest in shame! being fool'd, by foolery thrive.
 * There's place and means for every man alive.
 * I'll after them.

[Exit.]

SCENE 4. Florence. A room in the Widow's house.
[Enter HELENA, Widow, and DIANA.]

HELENA.
 * That you may well perceive I have not wrong'd you!
 * One of the greatest in the Christian world
 * Shall be my surety; 'fore whose throne 'tis needful,
 * Ere I can perfect mine intents, to kneel:
 * Time was I did him a desired office,
 * Dear almost as his life; which gratitude
 * Through flinty Tartar's bosom would peep forth,
 * And answer, thanks: I duly am informed
 * His grace is at Marseilles; to which place
 * We have convenient convoy. You must know
 * I am supposed dead: the army breaking,
 * My husband hies him home; where, heaven aiding,
 * And by the leave of my good lord the king,
 * We'll be before our welcome.

WIDOW.
 * Gentle madam,
 * You never had a servant to whose trust
 * Your business was more welcome.

HELENA.
 * Nor you, mistress,
 * Ever a friend whose thoughts more truly labour
 * To recompense your love: doubt not but heaven
 * Hath brought me up to be your daughter's dower,
 * As it hath fated her to be my motive
 * And helper to a husband. But, O strange men!
 * That can such sweet use make of what they hate,
 * When saucy trusting of the cozen'd thoughts
 * Defiles the pitchy night! so lust doth play
 * With what it loathes, for that which is away:
 * But more of this hereafter.—You, Diana,
 * Under my poor instructions yet must suffer
 * Something in my behalf.

DIANA.
 * Let death and honesty
 * Go with your impositions, I am yours
 * Upon your will to suffer.

HELENA.
 * Yet, I pray you:
 * But with the word the time will bring on summer,
 * When briers shall have leaves as well as thorns,
 * And be as sweet as sharp. We must away;
 * Our waggon is prepar'd, and time revives us:
 * All's well that ends well: still the fine's the crown;
 * Whate'er the course, the end is the renown.

[Exeunt.]

SCENE 5. Rousillon. A room in the COUNTESS'S palace.
[Enter COUNTESS, LAFEU, and CLOWN.]

LAFEU.
 * No, no, no, son was misled with a snipt-taffeta fellow there,
 * whose villanous saffron would have made all the unbaked and
 * doughy youth of a nation in his colour: your daughter-in-law
 * had been alive at this hour, and your son here at home, more
 * advanced by the king than by that red-tail'd humble-bee I speak
 * of.

COUNTESS.
 * I would I had not known him! It was the death of the most
 * virtuous gentlewoman that ever nature had praise for creating: if
 * she had partaken of my flesh, and cost me the dearest groans of a
 * mother, I could not have owed her a more rooted love.

LAFEU.
 * 'Twas a good lady, 'twas a good lady: we may pick a thousand
 * salads ere we light on such another herb.

CLOWN.
 * Indeed, sir, she was the sweet marjoram of the salad, or,
 * rather, the herb of grace.

LAFEU.
 * They are not salad-herbs, you knave; they are nose-herbs.

CLOWN.
 * I am no great Nebuchadnezzar, sir; I have not much skill in
 * grass.

LAFEU.
 * Whether dost thou profess thyself,—a knave or a fool?

CLOWN.
 * A fool, sir, at a woman's service, and a knave at a man's.

LAFEU.
 * Your distinction?

CLOWN.
 * I would cozen the man of his wife, and do his service.

LAFEU.
 * So you were a knave at his service, indeed.

CLOWN.
 * And I would give his wife my bauble, sir, to do her service.

LAFEU.
 * I will subscribe for thee; thou art both knave and fool.

CLOWN.
 * At your service.

LAFEU.
 * No, no, no.

CLOWN.
 * Why, sir, if I cannot serve you, I can serve as great a
 * prince as you are.

LAFEU.
 * Who's that? a Frenchman?

CLOWN.
 * Faith, sir, 'a has an English name; but his phisnomy is more
 * hotter in France than there.

LAFEU.
 * What prince is that?

CLOWN.
 * The black prince, sir; alias, the prince of darkness; alias,
 * the devil.

LAFEU.
 * Hold thee, there's my purse: I give thee not this to suggest
 * thee from thy master thou talkest of; serve him still.

CLOWN.
 * I am a woodland fellow, sir, that always loved a great fire;
 * and the master I speak of ever keeps a good fire. But, sure, he
 * is the prince of the world; let his nobility remain in his court.
 * I am for the house with the narrow gate, which I take to be too
 * little for pomp to enter: some that humble themselves may; but
 * the many will be too chill and tender; and they'll be for the
 * flow'ry way that leads to the broad gate and the great fire.

LAFEU.
 * Go thy ways, I begin to be a-weary of thee; and I tell thee
 * so before, because I would not fall out with thee. Go thy ways;
 * let my horses be well looked to, without any tricks.

CLOWN.
 * If I put any tricks upon 'em, sir, they shall be jades' tricks,
 * which are their own right by the law of nature.

[Exit.]

LAFEU.
 * A shrewd knave, and an unhappy.

COUNTESS.
 * So he is. My lord that's gone made himself much sport out of him;
 * by his authority he remains here, which he thinks is a patent for
 * his sauciness; and indeed he has no pace, but runs where he will.

LAFEU.
 * I like him well; 'tis not amiss. And I was about to tell you,
 * since I heard of the good lady's death, and that my lord your son
 * was upon his return home, I moved the king my master to speak in
 * the behalf of my daughter; which, in the minority of them both,
 * his majesty out of a self-gracious remembrance did first propose:
 * His highness hath promised me to do it; and, to stop up the
 * displeasure he hath conceived against your son, there is no
 * fitter matter. How does your ladyship like it?

COUNTESS.
 * With very much content, my lord; and I wish it happily effected.

LAFEU.
 * His highness comes post from Marseilles, of as able body as
 * when he numbered thirty; he will be here to-morrow, or I am
 * deceived by him that in such intelligence hath seldom failed.

COUNTESS.
 * It rejoices me that I hope I shall see him ere I die. I have
 * letters that my son will be here to-night: I shall beseech
 * your lordship to remain with me till they meet together.

LAFEU.
 * Madam, I was thinking with what manners I might safely be
 * admitted.

COUNTESS.
 * You need but plead your honourable privilege.

LAFEU.
 * Lady, of that I have made a bold charter; but, I thank my
 * God, it holds yet.

[Re-enter CLOWN.]

CLOWN.
 * O madam, yonder's my lord your son with a patch of velvet
 * on's face; whether there be a scar under it or no, the velvet
 * knows; but 'tis a goodly patch of velvet: his left cheek is a
 * cheek of two pile and a half, but his right cheek is worn bare.

LAFEU.
 * A scar nobly got, or a noble scar, is a good livery of honour; so
 * belike is that.

CLOWN.
 * But it is your carbonadoed face.

LAFEU.
 * Let us go see your son, I pray you; I long to talk with the young
 * noble soldier.

CLOWN.
 * Faith, there's a dozen of 'em, with delicate fine hats, and
 * most courteous feathers, which bow the head and nod at every man.

[Exeunt.]